Inbox -- El Nysa

[doubledoctornocitrus]

●●●●○ THESA

RODNEY MCKAY
@phdphd (40), New Lantea

CONTACT

IGNORE

I WAS A: genius with minions. I'm now a relocated genius sans minions.

I'M SKILLED IN: Technology, Ancient and otherwise.

I'M LOOKING FOR: Tech I've never seen before that you don't want back.

ALSO, I'M: Irritated by the vast quantity of physics-violating objects and alcohols.

Video | Voice | Text

Comments

text; UN: J.SHEPPARD

[impavid]

So I'm pretty sure the dog is officially named Seren now, but she'll always be Princess to me.

Also we should really talk when you've got a minute.

[ THERE, PERFECT, JOB DONE good John can now mute his phone for like. Five hours! ]

[doubledoctornocitrus]

[The first bit makes Rodney snort. Sappy nonsense that Rodney will never in a million years admit he agrees with in the slightest. It's the second part that makes him narrow his eyes.]

Talk about what.

[Every second John doesn't reply ratchets Rodney's anxiety over what this 'talk' might constitute up another notch. What did they need to talk about? Rooming? Is he an Ianto getting a place and leaving Rodney in the slums? Is the dog taking his place? Does he need to dogsit? No, no, John would just ask that outright. Whatever it is, it's going to be bad.

Oh no.]

[impavid]

There's just some stuff you should know.

[ John replies about... five hours later, when he checks his phone at some painfully early hour after finishing his night shift.

Listen he still has a job, he needs to do his job, he's a bouncer and people need bouncing! ]

You got time later?

[doubledoctornocitrus]

Yes, yes, of course.

[The reply is desperately prompt. Five hours of Very Little Sleep and anxious stewing means that when his whasit plonks, he's already reading John's reply. He is half-certain he doesn't need to stew, but tell that to his highly-developed brain.]

When is later?

[impavid]

[ This is John, casually not checking the reply right away. Casually walking back from work first, getting changed, having a drink --oh, look, Rodney replied already? ]

Few hours? I need some sleep first.

[ This torture will not be over quickly, sorry Rodney. ]

[doubledoctornocitrus]

[Oh no you don't, John.]

You texted me yesterday like it was urgent.

[Yes. Yesterday, John. Like a monster.]

Have I been replaced by the dog? Are you dying of some horrible new disease?

[impavid]

[ Listen, he's been awake the whole time! It's not even 'yesterday' to him! ]

I'm not dying and Seren is only 12 weeks old, she doesn't even one phd and knows nothing about engineering.

[doubledoctornocitrus]

[He's mollified by that answer. Barely. Not enough that John gets to sleep yet, though.]

Good. But I'm at the Institute this morning.

I will show up at your door right now, don't think I won't.

[impavid]

[ This!! Is unfair!! He's just come off shift, he's had no sleep! He wanted to sleep first!! ]

It's too early you aren't allowed here, Ianto before coffee is like the beast before Belle softens him up.

[doubledoctornocitrus]

[If John didn't want to talk, John shouldn't have sent a text!]

We can talk in the hall. Or the street. Or whatever.

[impavid]

I don't have a hall!

[ It's a studio apartment basically, Rodney! One living space which is also the sleeping space and also the kitchen. Only the bathroom is a different room, blessedly. Still, if it will stop Rodney invading maybe he can try this over text. ]

Anyway I just wanted to talk to you about the new place.

[ There that'll maybe help right? ]

[doubledoctornocitrus]

The hall outside of the apartment!

[Rodney does live room-mateless--by some miracle--in one mostly similar. But John's response both narrows the breadth of his anxiety as well as gives him something to really fixate on. But...that sounds...very innocent of a topic.]

Good talk or bad talk?

[impavid]

Neutral talk? I'm guessing you want a room to yourself and all so you can have some space. Would it be weird for you if I was sharing mine with someone.

[ Is this even subtle? John has no idea. It's too early in the morning and he hasn't slept and he can't even remember what subtle looks like let alone if this is it. Is he even making sense? Why does he have to do this right now, Rodney! ]

[doubledoctornocitrus]

[Look, John had his chance, but if he stops texting, Rodney puts on his shoes and they make this an in-person chat. He's been warned.]

Of course I want a room to myself. With a better mattress that the crap I'm sleeping on now.

[Jot that down.]

You should find one with enough room for everyone to have a room. Unless you can't afford it if I'm moving in? Do you need help with the rent?

[impavid]

[ Oh.

Right.

It can't be too subtle otherwise Rodney won't even notice.

Right, there's that. Okay, new tactic. Upfront but vague about specifics. ]

Well it would be nice if you contributed to the bills eventually, but actually I just want to share a room with someone. You know, as two consenting adults.

[doubledoctornocitrus]

I will certainly contribute. The Institute does pay me.

[His pride is stung. He's not just going to mooch. He's a genius. People pay him to exist.

After he sends the first message, though, the 'consenting' part jumps out at him. John means move-in. Oh.

Oh.]

Wait.

You mean sex.

Yes it would be weird for me! I would be the third wheel in a love nest!

[But almost immediately after that text comes a follow-up. Extra person + less rooms==]

Rent would be cheaper.

[impavid]

[ Love nest?! John's face scrunches up at that, but you know what. He's too tired to argue at length, since he still hasn't slept. ]

Well I was thinking we'd still want a spare room in case people came to stay over or something, but yes. We would need one less, so rent would be cheaper.

[ Congrats on your math, Rodney, that's why they pay you the big bucks. ]

[doubledoctornocitrus]

When did you get serious? Why haven't I met her yet?

[You know what they say about assumptions.]

[impavid]

Well it's not a 'her' for a start.

[doubledoctornocitrus]

Huh.

[Data review, processing.]

THE SOCKS

[impavid]

[ Excuse me? ]

You're gonna want to try full sentences.

[doubledoctornocitrus]

I should have known.

In my defense Earth was just destroyed and I thought you were straight

[impavid]

I'm not really following the sock thing here. Also, in case you hadn't noticed, I worked for the Air Force and there are pretty specific regulations about this sort of thing.

[doubledoctornocitrus]

Irrelevant.

[The texts come as an avalanche, like a drawing-room monologue at the tail end of an Agatha Christie novel.]

I would propose marriage to anyone who darned my socks, gender notwithstanding.

Who also lived with me.

And didn't run screaming.

And was hot.

In a weird, bultery kind of way.

Am I right?

Is it Ianto?

He is the only person you spend more time with than me.

Notwithstanding Princess.

Who is not a person.

If it's not Ianto what horrible choices are you making with your life?

Don't make me come over there.

[impavid]

[ It was Ianto all along!! ]

I'm glad you're taking this well.

[ Genuinely, actually, but it's easier to play it off wry. ]

And it is Ianto but not because he darns my socks, though it's good to know your baseline here.